gear – One Man And His Mustang

A little confused by what is being achieved!

Everyday I drive to the train station and I get on public transport to get me to work. Most of the time the trains are late according to my watch. But in their book they are only late if it’s over 30 minutes. I don’t know who agrees this is the definition of late but they need to sort it out, as all they are doing is falsifying the figures. Every month I have to sell body parts to raise cash for the unfair fares they charge. Get people off the roads and into public transport say the government. But the fact it is so expensive, late, dirty and overcrowded is not an issue for them, how comes they never travel on it?

On to my main point, I was walking to work from the station and I spotted some kid who thought he was the dogs dangly bits. Now he had a baseball cap on sideways, a t-shirt on while it was snowing, a pair of jeans that didn’t seem to fit or he needed a belt. The jeans were around his thighs, the jeans were so tight that he was walking like a penguin in a plaster cast. His underpants were on show, I dare say they were from a Wal-Mart own brand and to top it of with a pair of trainers with the biggest tongue ever. I watched as he was having a conversation with his gangsta mate on the other end of the phone that was stuck to the side of his head. His other hand being used to give it the “massive like innit” hand signal, you know the one, where the flick of the wrist as if they are trying to free their fingers from the contents of the freshly cleaned nostrils. Anyway he waddled to his car and unlocked it. No central locking but it did have a large set of rims and a rubber band wrapped round them for a tyre. The car was the good old 10 year old Vauxhall Corsa 1.0 12v It only has 3 cylinders and 59bhp & top speed of 96mph, (I looked that bit up, figures correct when it was new). Ok, economical little town run around, but when it started up it was a treat. Firstly the white smoke signalled the engine was firing up, then there was mandatory revving of the engine to see if he could make more noise. Yep he could, the pea shooter of an exhaust was cleverly disguised as dustbin opening by the addition of the screw on tail pipe. I suspect he was running illegal exhaust as the noise was the sound of one hundred six inch nails in a washing machine. But I wasn’t to worry as the mobile disco sub produced enough noise to try and set the car alarm of behind it. Then when he had enough revs on he dumped the clutch and it sort of juddered away building to an impressive walking pace where he was now at full revs grabbing second gear, just in time to brake hard for the pedestrian crossing. Now what was that all about, dangerous driving as well? Perhaps he thought he looked cool, he did, it was minus 3 when I got out my car. Now, in my day it was how to make the engine run smooth, get more bhp and tune it up, improve the handling and give it a nice clean to look the part. Maybe evolution resulted in a newer generation of drivers that enjoy looking daft and driving like a nutter. So my question is, am I getting old (which I know I am), or is this a one off teenager that Charles Darwin would also be confused over?